Why Is It So Hard to Ask for Help?

"Do you need help?" sounds like an easy question. Answering it can be harder.

Sometimes I can tell that something is wrong without knowing how to explain it. It might wonder whether the problem is serious enough to mention, or whether I should be able to handle it myself. By the time I have rehearsed what to say, it can feel easier to say, "I'm fine."

In the interviews with young people experiencing anxiety or depression, researchers found that seeking help involved more than knowing where to go. Participants described difficulties making sense of what they were feeling, telling someone about it, and deciding whether to ask for support. I find that distinction important. Giving someone a list of resources may be useful, but it may not answer the question they are asking themselves first: Will someone take me seriously if I speak up?

That question is one reason I started Mind in Context. I wanted to make psychological ideas easier to approach, especially for young people who are curious about what they feel but aren't ready to have a big conversation about it.

A website cannot listen to someone or decide what kind of help they need. It can, however, give them words to start with. "I've been having a hard time lately" is enough for a first sentence. They do not have to understand everything they feel before telling someone they trust.

• Radez, J., Reardon, T., Creswell, C., Orchard, F., & Waite, P. (2022). Adolescents’ perceived barriers and facilitators to seeking and accessing professional help for anxiety and depressive disorders: A qualitative interview study⁠. European Child & Adolescent Psychiatry, 31, 891–907.